Can we really ask you anything? What about printing this on the side of a carton?

Congrats on launching your super basic oat milk! I love reading your packaging whenever you release a new product. Only this time I decided to write my own version instead, just because I'm a huge fan. Also because I'm a huge fan, I'd love it if you'd consider printing what I wrote on the side of the carton, so I can tell all my friends I wrote it the next time we go shopping. Here it is:

Nothing to see here! Okay, maybe a few things. Four things, to be precise. Inside, you’ll find oats, water, a smidge of citrus fiber, and a sprinkle of sea salt. So not nothing, but pretty close to it if you ask us. It’s probably less than you imagined. Definitely less than our other oat milks. Which means we’re more basic. Super basic, actually. But we’re proud of it. And we’ve still got that refreshing taste you’ve grown to love. Just with less ingredients. And if we have to write more words here to overcompensate for our short nutrition label, so be it.

Okay, you probably won't print this. I'll bet this block of text will never see the fluorescent light of a grocery aisle. Because you have a specially-designated word person to write these things. But if you do decide to use this copy on a carton? Well, that would be goated. Or should I say gOATed?

From, 
A fan.